True love does not bind you. True love sets you free.
You cannot search for love. You are love.
Love is a big issue in most people’s lives. The Beatles sang, “All you need is love.” Everyone thinks about love frequently. It’s everyone’s deepest desire. On the deepest level love is the desire for God. The heart of love is our connection with God.
Most people don’t have that connection. They don’t feel it, but they know that it is there, and they know that it isn’t happening. We play it out by trying to have love in our lives through relationships. The truth is that the love we experience in relationship is connected to our love for God.
Love is fundamental to being human, and it is a fundamental part of who we are in the awakened state. An understanding of the koshas (levels of the mind) reveals this. The highest kosha is the anandamayakosha, and it is our natural human state as love, peace, oneness, and satisfaction. It is non-causal, because the truth is that the source of all love is within us. It is not outside of us.
Accessing love therefore means clearing the obstructions within ourselves that allow us access to who we really are. The more we awaken and live according to the Six Foundations, which helps us create a quiet mind, the power of love begins to come through. It is not something we strive for. It is something we are.
People want to be compassionate, but we are compassion. We need only uncover our compassion. We look here and there and everywhere except where it really is – within ourselves. The work is unpeeling, uncovering, detoxifying, on the physical, mental, and emotional levels, so that we can experience the truth of who we are. One aspect of that truth is love.
This does not exclude us from being in loving relationships, but it changes the nature of these relationships. One no longer seeks completion in these relationships. One no longer seeks love in these relationships. Instead we amplify our experience of love through these relationships.
You cannot seek what you already are. You are already that. In relationship more love emerges. The more we can access our natural compassionate, loving state, the more we are able to experience love in all creation and the more we are able to experience love for God. (This is not to separate us from an external God. We are one with that.) What becomes revealed is that it is all compassion, love, peace, and satisfaction.
The Rolling Stones sang, “I can’t get no satisfaction.” What’s the problem here? Of course you can’t get it, because you are it. People are simply looking in the wrong places. They look everywhere but where it is – Inside.
All the spiritual paths and all the religions may be distilled to this – You are going to connect to the truth within yourself. Some ways are easier than others, but ultimately, one way or another, that’s where it goes. When we look at the various ways different religions yield this understanding, we can see that they all teach the Six Foundations. They all create devotion. What is this devotion? The love starts outside. That is why relationship is a spiritual practice for connecting with God. Relationship activates the external and eventually works its way inside.
You are very unlikely to get into a codependent relationship when you realize that the other person is not the source of your love. When you realize that you are the source then the relationship becomes interdependent, and that interdependence amplifies your love for God. One and one becomes greater than two in relationship. Relationship is a tool for accessing one’s own love.
Relationship teaches us that we are love, and that the loved one is love too. You recognize the love in the other. You recognize the Divine in the other. There is a resonance, and this makes the relationship deeper.
It is the same with Nature. We begin to resonate with the spark of the Divine in Nature, and we begin to see love, in a sense, in everything (including ourselves). Conversely when we resonate with love in ourselves, we resonate with it in everything around us. Our whole world becomes love.
So how do we create access to this inner experience? The Six Foundations are a simple way for us to be present with ourselves. Being present takes us into the divine Presence, and this leads us to the doorway to love. Love isn’t something we do. Love is something we are. Deeper still, we must understand that our inner experience needs to manifest as an outer experience so that the love emanates and amplifies. You don’t have to be in a deep relationship to do this. Your experience of self love activates and creates resonance with those around you.
When I talk about relationship, I am also talking about intimacy. It is one thing to be love, and it’s another thing to be in an intimate, loving, enduring relationship. Love creates a field for that to happen. Love helps us to overcome our fear of relationship. To overcome our fear of relationship we have to face all our programs that keep us from being open to love. We have to face our programs that we inherited from negative experiences in relationship. These experiences make us afraid of being hurt. The power of love helps us to overcome those fears. Ultimately when you realize that nobody can take love away from you, because it is you, it is pretty hard to get hurt because you are the emanation of that. It becomes easier and easier then to develop intimate relationship. Through love it is easier to create a safe space for relationship because in the space of love, where you are feeling at one with all things, your tendency to hurt someone, particularly your intimate other, is greatly diminished. I used the word “enduring” because a safe space is an enduring space. It is a space where you can truly be yourself and know that in being yourself the other person is going to validate that by seeing the divine spark in you. They are there for you, as you are there for them. They are there to elevate you and support you in reaching your highest potential. Love is the foundation for deep, enduring intimacy.
We are not talking about romantic love. True, that helps for a while. We’re talking about the resonant love that comes from knowing that you are a fountain of love and sharing that in an intimate relationship. From that space of love you are sharing safety. From that space of love you are sharing peace. These are the subtleties that build the foundation of a healthy relationship that can spread to the whole world.
May everyone be blessed to know that we are the source of enduring love.
“True love does not bind you. True love sets you free.”
“You cannot search for love. You are love.”
“Love is not all there is. There is only God. From that knowledge comes noncausal love, noncausal peace, noncausal compassion, noncausal oneness – These are all part of our essential nature.”