Sacred relationships are timeless. Forgiveness is letting go of our identity with the past. It is letting go of resistance to the moment. It allows the present moment to be as it is and not contaminated by our attachment or past experience. Suffering pressures us to release resistance to life. When we let go of life expectations and forgive, we can go into acceptance and surrender and, therefore, inner peace. Ego is the unobserved mind that runs life when we are not in the witness state. Ego strategizes to avoid being in the Divine Presence, and, therefore, in dissolving the ego into formlessness, we also dissolve its general expressions of resistance, control, power, drama, war, hate, and illness. When two or more egos come together we often get drama, and people choose to live in the past because they create psychological time. Most people love their stories, their history, and live accordingly. In fact, as we point out in the Zero Point, individuals can live in a self-induced trance in which they believe that they are their stories of the past, present and future. The goal of Zero Point is to help us wake out of our dream. Most people fear the end of drama because they fear the end of ego. Once the drama ends, we are no longer identified with the mind, but we can use the mind appropriately within chronological time.
When we live in complete acceptance of what is, there is no argument and no drama. A fully conscious person is not in conflict. All suffering is ego related due to resistance to the Presence. Liberation allows you to be, in the eternal Is-ness as “That Which Was, Is, and Will Be”. In form, we have birth, death, growth, and dissolution. In Self, only bliss, love, peace, and contentment.
Forms are not our life; they are only our life situations. This is why Jesus said, “Don’t build up treasures on earth.” He said, “The farmer who looks back while he is plowing his field [of consciousness] is not fit for the kingdom.” The point is, people don’t consciously choose pain. Pain is an unconscious choice, a conditioned reflex. No one chooses insanity and dysfunction; it’s simply that they cannot overcome mind’s conditioning. Our true identity is not derived from the past. As long as we are identified with our mind, we are asleep. Forgiveness takes us into the Presence. Contradictorily, the Now Presence dissolves the past and frees you from it. When you are in the Now, there is no forgiveness because it happens automatically.
In other words, to live in joy, resist nothing. Zero Point teaches us to be open to all there is, as the sky is open to the birds, the sun, and the clouds passing through.
In any moment we can move into the Eternal Presence, and, in the moment, in the now, in the present, moving into the Eternal Presence is the only point from which we can get there. Essentially, we get there by realizing we are already there. We move into the Eternal Presence the moment we realize that we don’t need to seek the divine, but that we are that within itself. Any portal – meditation, nature, pranayama, skydiving – can be used, and no particular condition is needed. The one point of access, which these create, is the present going into the presence, into the Eternal Presence. No salvation or awakening is away from this moment. The meaning of that is not that we will become liberated in the moment, but we can enter into a liberated moment, we can enter into the Eternal Presence. The more we choose to enter now into that Eternal Presence through our various spiritual practices, the thinner the glass ceiling becomes, so that at some point, by grace, we break through into the consistent, unbroken, conscious awareness of the Eternal within us. This moment is the place to start, not next week, not when your exams are over, or at some more convenient time – it is now. Nothing in the past matters. Nothing we think will happen in the future matters, it only happens if we can go into the Divine Presence now.
Love relations, or manic love relations, are often intensely sought after, because they give the illusion of liberation from our deep-seated state of fear, need, lack, and a sense of incompleteness, that is part of the human condition in its unenlightened state.
This physical urge is ultimately a deeply spiritual one, as it is a longing for an end of duality and a return to a state of wholeness. Coupling is the closest we get, even for a moment, to this union while unawake. The state of separateness is played out mentally because we feel separate from the Self, and coupling gives us a momentary sense of ending that separation. The ego feels vulnerable and insecure and always seeks new identifications to reinforce its sense of existence, whether love or drama. Relationship can turn addictive, as part of our unconscious way of avoiding pain. All addictions start with pain or emptiness and end with pain, be it alcohol, food, manic love relationships.
Ultimately relationships bring out the pain, and, of course, this is very healthy, because it gives us the opportunity to evolve. Somewhere in between two and five years, the deep family pain patterns come up, and this gives you an opportunity to work through them consciously. Love, like the light of the sun, is not selective. It doesn’t make one person special, since it radiates forth from us anyway. If it is exclusive, it’s the love of the ego; however, different people reflect back the intensity with which true love is felt. It may be that one person reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and that person may be the one you choose to form a relationship with. The difference is that we are all bonded by love; it is just that we have a more intense relationship of that same love with one person.
Love renders the mind powerless. True communication is divine communion and the realization of oneness, which is an expression of that love. Brief glimpses of the experience of love happen, but the deepest love can’t flourish unless you are permanently free of mind identification, in your presence, your deveikut, is intense enough to dissolve the pain body, because to be fully in love, one needs to be totally free of the pain body. When you become aware that you are still involved in the pain body and needing drama, you can create change. When you know you are not at peace, that knowing paradoxically creates a still space surrounding your non-peace. It allows you to transmit your non-peace into peace. In another way, it is God observing that you are not at peace. This witnessing allows you to transmute that pain into peace. Inner transformation is neither something we can do or not do. It is very paradoxical. We can’t transform ourselves because transformation is by grace, and you certainly can’t transform your partner. All we can do is create a space for transformation to happen, and, therefore, in that space of Divine Presence, grace and love may enter. That is the key to the whole spiritual path as well as relationships.
Holding space for others and ourselves is vital for relationship. Love cannot really flourish without it. When we have removed our reactive pain body identification, we no longer identify with the mind’s concepts. When our partner has done the same, that is the foundation for a divine relationship. So instead of marrying each other in our pain and unconsciousness, or being in co-dependent or mutually addictive ego relationships, we create peace for each other and reflect peace back on each other. Our love comes from our connection to our divine essence and our connection with the oneness of all that is.
A relationship, in which one partner is freer of the mind and the pain body, is a challenge for the other. The other’s ego is threatened because the ego needs conflict. The unawakened partner will be potentially frustrated, because it’s fixed positions aren’t resisted, which means they become shaky and weak, and there is no play of the ego to make them feel that they exist. When the pain body does not get feedback, it creates difficulty, but when there is no need for argument, drama, and conflict, it becomes very threatening. The beauty about relationships is that every challenge is an opportunity to wake up, at every stage of the unfolding dysfunctional process. Freedom from unconsciousness is possible as long as we are not attached to our unconscious patterns so that we don’t have a choice. If we can be in the witness we do have a choice.