Beyond I Am

We are born into the dream (or the illusion) of the “I Am-ness”.  And from the “I Am-ness” emerges the personality and the identification with the personality.  From that identification immerges a belief of you being the person within the matrix as your normal state. 

It has been said, “I Am the Light, the Truth, and the Way”. We should understand that this speaks of the “I Am-ness” as the “Way”.  This focus on the Way (the “I Am-ness”) is the first step in awakening.  From the “I Am-ness” we have “I Am this” and “I Am that” and we get involved with form and time.  Yet for full liberation we have to go beyond time, space, and also beyond the “I Am-ness”.

This is a point where people become confused and ask, “If the I Amness is the Light, the Truth, and the Way, doesn’t that mean liberation?”  The answer is “no”.   The “I Am-ness” is a place where we are going back to so that we can then go prior to the identification with the “I Am-ness”.  Awakening from identification with the “I Am-ness” is the first level of liberation.

One of the multiple aspects to the liberation awareness is no longer identifying with the “I Am-ness” (which is one of separation from the One) and moving into identification with the Oneness.  There is a subtle “I Am-ness” in that process.  As we move through the levels (or stages) of liberation we begin to become aware that we are integrated multidimentional beings operating on all plains of existence from the Nothing to the Something.

As we go deeper we no longer identify with any of that and we begin to move into Nothingness, which is deeper than the void.  The “I Am-ness” dissolves into the Oneness and then ultimately the Nothingness. There is an even deeper step when we disappear totally.  This is what I call “dying into the nothing”.  These are all levels of liberation awareness.

From 1975-1982, when I was spending six hours a day meditating, every time I would meditate I would dissolve – disappearing into Oneness.  This is not the same as “dying” where there is an astral plane image of you going down a tunnel of light.  This is different than that.  There is no astral plane.  There is no image.  There is no “you”.  There is no “I Am-ness”.   This is the direct experience of total awareness.

At this point in the discussion a common question is, “How do you do that?”  The truth is you don’t do it.  It is grace.  What we do is allow ourselves to be lived by the Six Foundations.  We keep showing up.   When it’s your time, grace happens, and you naturally and spontaneously move into liberation and ultimately “die into the nothing”. This is a very short synopsis of the unfolding.

May everybody be blessed with this awareness as your sadhana unfolds.

May you be blessed with this direct experience.