Love is the ability to perceive the innate beauty in the other person. Love gives you the perception to see the wild authenticity of the true nature of the other person. Love is not blind. Love is the microscope that allows you to fully see and appreciate the other person in their deepest truth.
The key to sacred relationship is to have the spiritual perception of who you are and who the other is. This essential spiritual understanding is the foundation of sacred relationship.
Sacred relationship is the oldest and the newest frontier. In today’s society, the whole meaning of relationship as sacred – as an evolutionary way of life – is not exactly a focus. But it’s the newest frontier and represents the cutting edge of consciousness.
Sacred relationship is a high risk situation. People are afraid of being exposed, hurt, and abandoned. It takes a lot of courage. There was a popular saying 25-30 years back – “Love is letting go of fear.” That’s not true. Love is having the courage to be intimate in the midst of fear. Fear is natural. No one wants to get hurt, take risks, get abandoned, or be vulnerable. Where’s the guarantee? In intimacy there is no guarantee, and to enter a relationship knowing that there’s no guarantee, it’s not fixed, it’s dynamic, you don’t know what’s going to happen, is a journey into the unknown.
To be a lover is a huge adventure that requiring a lot of courage. We enter into sacred relationship, and that means intimacy. Intimacy is the ability to keep your heart open over time. Can you commit to keeping your heart open in all situations? Sacred relationship is a commitment to intimacy over time. Sacred relationship is a commitment to duration. It is a warrior’s path for spiritual evolution.
The key to creating sacred relationship is eternal presence. To be able to love and see the deeper beauty of who the other person is, we have to access the Divine presence within ourselves. There persists a myth that somehow if we just find our other half, we’ll be whole, but that’s not the way it works. One must be whole before the partnership.
Sacred relationship is a journey in which both partners are working on each other (consciously or unconsciously) to help one another reach their highest level of evolution. Within this sacred journey, ceremony, and vow is the commitment to be intimate over time. There are a few tools that make this work. One of them is passion.
Passion may seem like the beginning of the relationship, but passion is the driving force throughout the duration of the relationship. There has to be polarity within the relationship. There is a female essence and a male essence in every relationship, and the ark of energy between these polarities is passion. The female essence is the rainbow radiance – colors, sensuality, aromas, and tastes of life. The male essence is dying into the nothing. The rainbow radiance wants to know that she’s loved, and dying into the nothing wants to know their doing a good job, that they’re valid, ok, that they have existential validity and meaning. The female essence wants to know that it’s loved, and the male essence wants to know that it’s respected.
People enter relationship for a variety of reasons. Not all of them are for spiritual evolution. Motivations include reproduction, finances, companionship, etc., but at the level of sacred relationship, people come together to purposely and consciously elevate each other to their fullest human and spiritual potential, each creating the space for the other to flourish. This requires that each person be differentiated and whole, while cultivating the ability to release their boundaries and merge at appropriated times for the sake of unity.
They are whole within themselves, and they aren’t in the relationship to become whole. Because they are whole, they can also suspend their boundaries in the context of the relationship. They’re coming together to cultivate consciousness. They’re creating a contract to support each other’s evolution, and in order to do this, part of that contract is making space for the other to exist. This sacred evolutionary space is where the other can flourish and find themselves. The advantage of relationship is that you have someone whom you can trust to give you intimate feedback.
The foundation of trust created by intimacy allows the other person to give you feedback, not combative criticism, from someone who you know genuinely cares about your growth. Each partner wants the other to become the fullest expression of who they can be, and each supports the other in their journey. This takes a lot of trust, and intimacy, over time, provides the foundation for this process. To be intimate means to create a safe space. You have to feel safe with one another.
In order to feel safe, each relationship requires clearly defined bottom lines. Another prevalent myth today is that love should be boundless and open, but every relationship, in fact, has a bottom line. It’s important for each partner to define their bottom line, so that the understanding is present to develop the trust and intimacy necessary to support sacred relationship. Once each partner’s bottom line is clearly defined, they make every possible effort not to cross those bottom lines for the sake of the relationship. The honoring of bottom lines creates fundamental safety, and that foundation of safe space allows the relationship to grow and flourish. This fundamental safe space is where the heart can open. This is the key to sacred relationship, so that person each feels loved no matter what.
In sacred relationship, each partner must love themselves, each other, and also the relationship too. The relationship must have proper boundaries to exist. The couple must work with time, space, and energy, meaning, value, and effectiveness, with spirituality at the center, and this allows the relationship to flourish. The couple has to thoughtfully, with passion, regulate these elements to nurture their connection. In today’s world, this is challenging. Love is the basis, but passion create the ark of energy that continually nurtures the relationship. These are the fundamentals of a contract that has the potential to yield spiritual evolution for each person in the sacred relationship. Everything else comes into place around this central value. Children, and financial stability may come, but the fundamental is maintained by that ark of love that creates a space that allows both people to evolve.
These are the key fundamentals for a healthy, enduring sacred relationship.
May everyone be blessed with the love, courage, and passion that allows us to enter into sacred relationship to help bring the world back into balance.