The most important thing in relationship is to be consistently present. It either will drive your partner crazy, or, if they are ready, it brings them to love and liberation.
My observation is that more women are ready for awakening than men. Men are more often stuck in their mind, so it makes it harder to go beyond the mind. Women are more often in the pain body, which is more tangible and therefore easier to overcome. The deep reality of beingness, of entering the Divine Presence, requires qualities that are more easily accessible to the feminine, such as surrender, non-judgment, seeing the oneness in all things, and openness to life instead of resisting it – the capacity to hold things in the loving embrace of knowingness.
Mental energy is hard and rigid, but beingness is soft and yielding. In the US, mind runs our civilization; whereas, being runs all life on the planet. Being is the very intelligence from whence springs the visible manifestation of the physical universe. Although women are potentially closer to it, obviously men can also access it within themselves. Unfortunately, at this time, the vast majority of men, as well as women, are still in the grip of the mind. So, they are identified with the thinker and the pain body. This, of course, is what prevents enlightenment in the folly of love. The biggest obstacle for men is the thinking mind, identification with the thinking mind; and the major obstacle for women is the identification with the pain body.
The pain body can be a collective pain body. For example, any culture such as the Jewish culture, which has a strong pain body, based on witch-hunts, pogroms, the holocaust, and so forth, is the pain body felt by that whole culture. In the same way, women have a collective pain body expanding thousands of years. The idea is not to be trapped in the nightmare of your pain body. The best method for dealing with the pain body is not to identify with it. As long as part of yourself is invested in the emotional pain, you will resist and sabotage every attempt to heal the pain. The mechanism is clear, as long as we stay in the emotional pain body, we are victimized, and therefore need to be a victimizer or a perpetual victim.
A woman’s pain body justifies mistreating men to undo centuries of other mistreatments. It is still victim and victimizer. The pain body, in essence, becomes an identity, and we have to relinquish our identities to wake up. With elevated awareness, both menses and menopause become not only expressions of womanhood but also sacred times of transmutation. She may give birth to a new consciousness, when your true nature can shine forth from its female aspect, and its transcendental aspect as divine being, when we become beyond male and female duality. If a male partner is conscious enough he can help you with the practice, by staying present whenever you fall back into unconscious identification with the pain body, which can happen. Whenever the pain body temporarily takes over, such as during menses or menopause, a partner can hold space for the her to move back into the conscious observer. A permanent energy field of high frequency will arise before you, no illusion, no pain, no conflict, nothing that is not you, and nothing that is not love can survive in this high frequency field. This represents the fulfillment of the divine transpersonal purpose of your relationship.
A couple can create a vortex of conscious awareness. In the state of enlightenment or spiritual wakefulness you are yourself. You are no longer the ego self and the transcendental self. Mind created dualities are the root cause of all unnecessary complexities, and all conflicts. In the state of enlightenment, you are yourself. You and yourself merge into one. You are no longer judging yourself, feeling sorry for yourself, proud of yourself, loving yourself, or anything with yourself. This split caused by self-reflection dissolves in the light of Divine Presence.