Role of Enlightenment in a Relationship (Pt. 1)

There are many portals to the Self – nature, body awareness, breath, silence, yoga, meditation, and remembering that we are prior to the mind (jnana yoga or Zero Point Process). Silence is powerful and allows an opening to the Divine. A near death experience can be a doorway to the Self because we have a direct experience of the subtle body.
The Nothing has the appearance of the Manifest in the three-dimensional world. By becoming aware of the empty space around you, you become aware of “no mind”. The inner space is silent and still.
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal can exist. To remember this is the secret of life. When we know nothing real can be threatened, we lose all fear. When we are totally present, we experience inner and outer space as “no mind” and, therefore, no space or time. Although eternal space and time still exist, they are less important. In other words, mind-time or psychological time creates worries about the past or has anxiety about the future. The real use of chronological time is for acknowledging the past to understand the future.
The world is necessary for the end manifestation to be realized for Self-knowledge.
Both death and identification with form are illusory. There is no death for the Self. The Self continues. There is death for the body, but we are not form; we merely live in form. Freedom is a fearless state – free of the past, free of the future, free of obsessions and concepts, or free of any feeling that we need to be something else. It is very important to understand that in this state, time is not a means to solution or salvation. The only way to be liberated is in the moment, in the Presence through the present. To believe otherwise is to put us in the position of justifying the means with the end, due to our errant concept of time. This justification of the means by the end has cost the lives of millions upon millions (maybe 50 million people) killed jointly between China and Russia for a “higher” goal. This is sheer madness!
In relationship, the desirous attraction between men and women is a longing for wholeness. Momentarily we can find the end of duality, but we cannot openly find it. The problem with relationships, not properly understood, is that they create the delusional potential of thinking you have found the Presence and become non-dual. Relationship cannot be a substitute for being in the Presence. In tantra, practiced both in the East and in the shamanic kabbalistic approach, the merging of male and female can enhance awareness of the Presence, when we understand the purpose of relationship is for the invocation of the Divine.
We are free. Being in relationship or being single has nothing to do with enlightenment, the spiritual path, or waking up. However, in my experience, being in relationship, if properly understood and balanced, can accelerate the spiritual path, because each partner helps the other become their authentic self and gives feedback when the other is not in the Divine Presence.
When in the Presence, prior to the emptiness, there is no pain; only non-causal joy, peace, love, contentment, compassion, and happiness. Every addiction, compulsion, habit, and obsession starts with emptiness that many interpret as pain. These habits can never cover up the sense of pain. In the same way, relationships, particularly when they are engaged with to relieve emptiness and pain, end up bringing up the pain of your own disconnection. Yet, avoidance of relationship to avoid pain does not work either. Pain can only be avoided when we stop running and accept life as it is. The key to all healthy relationships is being in the Eternal Presence. It can transform relationships into health. The same applies to the emotional pain body we carry. Being in the Presence can help us move out of our fear of intimacy, issues of abandonment, familial disturbances, and potential hurt.
Love, when we understand it, only comes from residing in the awareness of the Eternal Presence; therefore, it can never be lost. It emanates from solely us. However, in a relationship, when our partner can reflect back love and Eternal Presence to us, the relationship can amplify our experience of the Divine Presence. Love is essentially feeling the presence of Yah within and without; feeling the Presence in all love renders the mind powerless.
I have compiled several steps to abide prior to the mind. We have mind, which entraps us. Then we transcend the mind into the I Am-ness. From that place we have the ecstasy, compassion, joy, peace, and contentment that are our natural state. Then prior to that—and in the realm of Consciousness beyond “I Am” awareness – is the Nothing. In essence, even the I Am awareness vanishes. There is just pure existence; where these qualities come through even stronger but more on subtle levels. The focus of Zero Point and love is to render the mind powerless. The more we are in the state of the Eternal Presence, of the I Am awareness the less power the mind has and the easier it is for us to dissolve the thoughts of the mine and become free of them. Therefore, relationships can amplify the experience of the Divine Presence if both partners are practicing the awareness of the Divine Presence within themselves and actively seeing it in the other person. This reflection makes it easier to move through issues fearlessly.
The upside of poor relationships is that they allow us to become aware of our unconsciousness and can turn it to knowledge through moving into the witness. The witness is a form of being present. From the witness/present we can move into the Eternal Presence. Relationships are to make us conscious. Humanity is under pressure to evolve because our survival is at stake. Relationships are part of healing that breakdown, and poor relationships are part of that breakdown. Sanity and consciousness can only come into the world through us. It doesn’t need to wait for anybody else.
Being in the Presence allows things to be as they are, and, therefore, allows for healthy relationships, because they create the space for the other person to be in that process and create the aliveness and the awakening potential for the other person.
Unfortunately, in many people, their ego needs problems, conflicts and enemies to strengthen their resistance to dissolving into the Eternal Presence. The pain body needs continual feedback and demands to dramatically act out to support their ego’s existence. People often project their needs, their traumas, their problems onto the other people and try hard to create those responses in others. But when one person holds their awareness and chooses not to react, it gives opportunity for the other person to look at the projection and become conscious.
There are some major obstacles to the awakening process.
For females, it is often the emotional body and what I refer to (this comes up in the Zero Point all the time) as the collective female misery body. This is really the collective human psyche for thousands of years of women’s oppression and pain and is emphasized more in the menses and menopausal stages. It is the main struggle that women face. Men also have a collective pain body. This the collective pain body from war and so forth, but it is more monthly and regular for women. For men, the mind body is the biggest thing to overcome. Getting stuck in the mind happens to both genders, but it is more common for men. Our pain body is not us. Unfortunately, many people create an identity out of their pain body, as well as the collective pain body. In my experience, women who recover from sexual molestation often overcome their collective identify associated with the pain, while women who haven’t had this recovery are often living in a level of resentment and negativity that comes from being attached and identified with the collective pain body, as well as the personal pain body.
For reasons that are theoretical, women are generally more capable of walking the bridge between the manifest and the unmanifest world. Perhaps they are more in touch with the emotions in their energetic body than men. It is very clear that there are two to three times more women awakening than men. Women’s ability to overcome their pain body, may be easier than men’s ability to overcome the mind and body-mind complex. Those who choose to remain victims believe the past is more powerful than the present. It needs to be overcome with the power of the present or now.
Conscious menses and conscious menopause are processes that clearly awaken the collective female pain body. It is imperative during these times to keep aware and witness the pain body before it pulls you into unconsciousness. Do this by putting your presence into it. Hold that knowing, be the knowing, and do not let the pain body take over. By giving it full acceptance, it is transformed into pure consciousness and presence. If a mate is able to hold his awakened state, it helps the woman move closer and more easily through her pain body, whether it is menses or menopause.
Enlightenment ends your relationship with your ego self and the other. This means you are struggling between your witness and your identification with the mind. In enlightenment one no longer identifies with the body-mind. There is only the I Am awareness shining through. There is no more dualism in reality.